Blind Spots—Why You May Not Be Getting The Job
How strengths, habits, and beliefs could actually be working against you in your job search
If you’ve been pouring your heart into job applications, rewriting your résumé, sending out cover letters, applying to countless roles, and still not hearing back, you’re not alone. It’s a story I hear often from smart, capable, values-driven people. “Why am I not getting at least a call back, or rejection letter, or “Why am I not getting the job, I’m qualified?!” Folks are super frustrated, losing confidence, and feeling like the system is broken.
Sometimes, what’s happening isn’t just about the job market, it’s about what we can’t see… our blind spots.
The Blind Spots We Don’t Realize We Have
Blind spots are the subtle ways our patterns, assumptions, or emotional energy shape how we show up, especially when we’re under stress or facing uncertainty. They’re often invisible to us because they come from what we believe are our strengths.
We might think we’re being confident, kind, humble, or hardworking (and we are), but under the surface, those same traits can have a shadow side that quietly blocks connection, communication, or opportunity.
Here’s what that can look like:
Confidence — Defensiveness or Negative Ego
You know your worth, but you might unknowingly close yourself off to feedback or come across as unteachable.Kindness — People-Pleasing or Passivity
You want to be considerate, but maybe you avoid advocating for yourself, or you downplay your accomplishments to seem humble.Diligence — Overcontrol or Burnout
You’re driven and thorough, but perfectionism keeps you from finishing or sending things out unless they feel flawless.Humility — Self-Doubt or Minimizing
You want to stay grounded, but you may unintentionally communicate uncertainty, causing others to question your confidence.Persistence — Exhaustion Without Reflection
You keep pushing forward, but without pausing to reflect, you might be reinforcing the same patterns that aren’t working.
None of these qualities are “bad.” They’re simply unexamined, and when we don’t pause to look at how our strengths show up under stress, they can become blind spots that limit growth and opportunity. The hard truth is we can’t see what we don’t know. The tricky part about blind spots is that they feel like the truth. We think, I’m being polite, or I’m just being confident, or I’m working as hard as I can. But from the outside, others might be experiencing us very differently. A hiring manager might read a confident tone as inflexibility. A kind follow-up email might sound overly apologetic. An “I’ve done everything” mindset might be masking as closed to feedback or learning.
This isn’t about being wrong; it’s about becoming aware because awareness creates choice. When we can start to ask ourselves, “Is there something I might not be seeing about how I’m showing up?” we begin to move from frustration to empowerment.
Communication: Where Blind Spots Often Show Up First
Communication (written, verbal, and energy) is often where our blind spots reveal themselves. Even when our intentions are good, how we express ourselves can create disconnects.
For example:
We might sound overly formal or robotic because we’re afraid to be ourselves.
We might express gratitude, but do we believe it? Does it feel authentic?
We might use language that’s too soft (“just hoping to check in...”) or too strong (“I’m the perfect fit for this role”), both of which can trigger assumptions in others.
The most effective communication blends honesty, kindness, assertiveness, confidence, humility, and clarity. It’s about staying grounded in your worth while remaining curious and connected.
An example of this at work is in how you are following up via email on an application and resume you submitted: Here is what I might write:
Hi [Name],
I just wanted to check in on my application for the [Position Title] role. I know you’re likely sorting through a lot of applicants right now, and the pressure you must be facing. I completely understand how much that takes — so I truly appreciate your time and consideration.
I genuinely believe this role aligns deeply with my skills and values, and I’d love the opportunity to connect, answer any questions you have, and share more personally about how I can contribute to what your team is building.
Thank you again for all that you’re doing in the process — I know it’s a lot to manage.
Warmly,
Bernadette
The Deeper Layer: Limiting Beliefs Behind the Blind Spots
Behind every shadow trait or blind spot lives a belief or emotion that’s trying to protect us.
“If I’m too direct, I’ll seem arrogant.”
“If I don’t appear perfect, they’ll reject me.”
“If I don’t work harder, I’ll fall behind.”
“If they don’t respond, it must mean I’m not good enough.”
These beliefs often come from past experiences — not reality. They subtly shape the tone of our messages, our posture in interviews, and even the energy we carry into conversations. When we become aware of these beliefs, we can begin to choose differently — responding rather than reacting, communicating rather than performing, and showing up authentically rather than protectively.
Seeing Yourself Clearly: A Reflection Practice
If you’re in a season of frustration or rejection, this is a powerful moment to pause and look inward. Not from a place of blame, but curiosity.
Try this reflection exercise:
Identify your top 3 strengths.
(Think about what others often praise you for — kindness, confidence, reliability, creativity, etc.)Ask: What might be the shadow or blind spot side of this strength?
(For example: “My confidence might sometimes come across as over-assured.”)Reflect: How might this be showing up in my communication, interviews, and networking?
Explore: What belief or fear could be driving it?
(Is it fear of rejection? A desire to prove worth? The need to feel in control?)Choose one small shift.
Maybe it’s softening your tone, asking for feedback, or letting go of perfection in one area of your process. Small adjustments in awareness often create the biggest transformations.
Fear and an Exercise on Reframing It When It Arises. Give it a try!
Shifting from fear-based hesitation to grounded self-trust:
Pause & Name It: When fear shows up, say quietly, “This is fear.”
Notice the Body: Where do you feel it? Breathe into that space.
Ask: “Is this fear protecting me from danger, or from growth?”
Reframe:
If it’s protection — thank it and ask what safety looks like for you.
If it’s growth — thank it and remind yourself: “This discomfort means I’m expanding.”
Take One Small Step: Even something simple — journaling, walking outside, writing an idea — builds momentum and self-trust.
Clarity without action, nothing changes.
The Opportunity in Self-Awareness
Everyone has Blind spots, and they aren’t necessarily something to fix; they’re something to see. When you can look honestly at yourself with compassion, you reclaim your power. You stop asking, Why isn’t this working? and start asking, What might I not be seeing yet? That single shift changes everything because when you see yourself more clearly, you start to show up more authentically, and that’s when the right opportunities begin to recognize you, too.
Real Talk with Bern
Something that’s often overlooked in this process is how deeply hiring managers are caught within systemic challenges. Many are managing overflowing inboxes, juggling deadlines, and operating within outdated systems that limit how personally they can respond.
I’m not saying it’s okay that you don’t even receive a rejection letter. It’s not. Everyone deserves acknowledgment. But it’s important to recognize that things like not replying, not sending a letter of regret, or not giving applicants the thoughtful attention they would like to are often not entirely within their control.
Many hiring managers are bound by organizational structures, legacy systems, and leadership decisions that reinforce efficiency over humanity. While limited bandwidth might explain part of it, it is not an excuse. Leaders must take responsibility to address these systemic gaps, advocate for change with their directors and executives, and build processes that stay in integrity with a simple but powerful principle: treat people with respect and empathy.
In an effort to continue to see possible blindspots, may I suggest you put yourself in the shoes of the people who are part of the hiring process. I know, that’s f*^king hard to do when you’re sitting in the thick of frustration, disappointment, or even self-doubt after sending out countless applications. But this perspective shift might reveal an important blind spot: the assumption that silence equals disinterest, or more importantly, that being overlooked reflects your worth. Sometimes, it’s simply the system — not you — that’s broken.
You don’t need to become someone else to land the job you want. You simply need to bring awareness to the unseen parts of how you’re showing up, and lead from a place that’s grounded, open, and real. This work isn’t easy, but it’s freeing. It’s where growth lives, in the moment you’re brave enough to look in the mirror and say,
“Maybe I’m not doing everything I can — yet. And maybe that’s exactly where my next step begins.”
